i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
