my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
