theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
