But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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