no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
