im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
