the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
