Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
