Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
