Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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