Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
