Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
