he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
