Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
