Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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