everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You took a bar mat shot.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
