I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
