I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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