dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
