Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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