...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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