Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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