Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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