pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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