So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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