Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
