I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We had sex on a dog bed..
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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