I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
