And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We are all done wearing pants today
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
