i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
