just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I want to fling myself into the sun
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
