Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
