Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
