i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I am one with the molecules
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
