we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
