honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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