I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
how drunk are you?
Several
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
