thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
my being single is dangerous.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
