She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
