I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We have started to decorate penises.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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