you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Is Oprah even human
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
