This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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