He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
