She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
