my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
