i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
