how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
