Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
dude. I can hear the air.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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