When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
