There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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