I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Randomize
